Skinny Emmie Weight Loss Blog » Miscellaneous

My Body Reminds Me

Skinny Emmie — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 03:16:30 +0000

* I wrote this on my phone last night when I couldn’t get to sleep. Also, feet/leg picture in the post. If you’re weirded out by feet, don’t look! I’m so ready to go home tomorrow *

When I’m in the gym, there are times where I feel like I’m just like everyone else. I can move. My body is healthy. My heart responds properly to any stimulus I give it. It feels good.

Then, there are days like today. Those where, after spending most of my day on my feet and drinking very little water, I feel the severity to which my body still has to handle my weight.

My feet and legs have an indescribable ache. My feet throb. My legs are so swollen that I can’t see my ankles. I feel like someone pumped 10 pounds of saline in my legs, which just sits there, expanding underneath my skins surface. It’s times like these that I realize how hard carrying this weight is on my body.

Can my heart handle it right now? Thankfully, yes. But what about the rest of me? Apparently not. The weight is just too much for my legs and lymph system to handle when pushed outside of its regular routine. Even sitting at my desk job when I’m not traveling is tough because of the inactivity. I look forward to going home and propping my feet up for some relief.

Yes, I’ve had tests. Many tests. No, nothing is wrong with me other than my weight-induced pitting edema. I’m on a water pill. Yes I took it today. But still, this body was pushed, and now my years of body neglect are making themselves felt as I head to sleep with prayers for relief when I awake.

My aha moment

Skinny Emmie — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 01:07:47 +0000

I posted a couple of weeks ago that I recorded my Mutual of Omaha “aha moment.” I got an email last night saying it was online. click to check it out.

This is just 1 of MANY aha moments. There were so many that have gotten me to this point, but there was only so much time to explain

Have you had an aha moment? More than 1? What were they?

Momentum

Skinny Emmie — Mon, 26 Jul 2010 13:50:38 +0000

What keeps you going on your fitness and weight loss journey? What is the source of momentum?

Right now, I’m struggling with my momentum. I’m dangerously close to a breaking point. This has happened before. Life takes over- life without prioritizing my health- and things fall by the wayside. I’m vocalizing this because this time is different. I am completely aware of my mindset and my circumstances surrounding me. It’s like a car approaching a speed bump- only this time, I SEE the speed bump. Before, I would have continued at 100% and hit that damn bump without slowing down, and completely shocking myself in the process, stopping all the momentum I had.

Since my fitness journey started (again) and I began incorporating workouts 5x a week into my daily routine, I’ve been able to make it work. Work, family, friends- none of it was overly demanding of time outside of what I had already dedicated to it. The past couple of weeks (and this week) have been different. I LOVE my work. Really. LOVE it. I am so lucky to not only have a job, but to really, really like what I’m doing. I’ve got a few projects that are demanding much more of my time than usual, so the hours I have in a day to do other things have been cut. Still, I know that a week of either poor eating or not maintaining my workout schedule will put me back several weeks of work. I am not willing to let that happen. Not at all.

Add the pressure of figuring out eating and a fitness routine while traveling. Then add the pressure from the scale, which isn’t moving. It’s enough to make you want to say “TIME OUT!”

When I was working with Trainer Rob on Saturday, I flat out told him that I DID NOT want to be at the gym. As I warmed up, just the prospect of having to do a high intensity workout for an hour nearly sent me to tears. He understood. We did a couple of high intensity circuits, then focused on weights. I left the gym feeling so much better than when I entered. Of course, I went home and promptly fell asleep for 5 hours in my sweaty gym clothes, but that’s beside the point.

One goal this week is to continue momentum from the 5K. Re-watching my crying video to remind myself how GOOD things are when they’re GOOD.

Another goal is to find balance between my work commitments and workout out this week, since I’m away from my familiar environment.

So, I’m here. Still fighting. My punches just might be a little weaker this week.

You don’t always have to like it

Skinny Emmie — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 00:46:09 +0000

I know that when I blog, I blog pretty happy things. Victories, “woohoos” whatever. Especially lately- there’s been so much good stuff going on!

via Erin Nealey on Flickr

This week, I’m swamped. I’ve overextended myself and my commitments to work, family, friends, etc. I’ve been working longer hours and sleeping very little. I did make it to the gym on Monday and Tuesday. Today was a rest day. I still have Thursday and Friday, then Saturday with Trainer Rob.

Some sort of breakthrough is happening with my mind though, because right now, instead of working late, I’d rather be at the gym. Yes, I said it. I’d rather be there, working on improving my body and sweating like a cold glass of water on a hot summer day.

Come tomorrow morning though, I’m not going to like getting out of bed at 5:30am. I’m not going to like fumbling to get dressed and strapping on my heart rate monitor on my raw and blistered chest (gross, I know. I need some Body Glide to wear under the chest strap). I’m not going to like getting in the shower after the gym, knowing that I’ve still got a full 12 hours of work ahead of me.

The point is, you don’t always have to like it. I don’t have to like getting up that early when I didn’t get to sleep until midnight. I don’t have to like facing a long day ahead after a workout. The point is, I’m doing it. I made my choice. I’m committed to this fitness journey. I’m going to strap on my Bondi Band I got from Callie @ The Wannabe Athlete (buy from her to help raise money for her Aunt’s cancer treatment) and I’m going to exercise. No matter what.

Tuesday morning, my alarm went off at 5:30 and I laid there a minute. A minute longer and I would have been back asleep for good. I had to say to myself “I’m making a choice… I’m making a choice… I’m making a choice…” And I went. I did it. I didn’t like it at the time, but when I was done, I was damn proud I made the right choice.

If fitness and weight loss were easy, we’d all be bouncing around in our awesome bodies with tons of energy and toned butts. It’s not. It’s hard. The road is long and really damn bumpy.

You don’t always have to like it – You just have to do it.

Balance

Skinny Emmie — Tue, 20 Jul 2010 01:12:13 +0000

photo by D Sharon Pruitt via Flickr

One of the questions I asked Shay during the 5K was “How do you manage it all? Your job, your family, your other committments?” It was kind of funny, beacuse she flipped it back on me and said “well, how are you doing it?” I explained that I just had to make the choice that fitness was one of my top priorities. Even if that means getting up at 5am for a pre-work workout, or going at 9pm because that’s the only time in the day I could make. And she said “Exactly.”

Exactly.

There is no science on how to make more time. Time is a limited resource. Each second that ticks by is another second that we’ll never, ever get back. Kind of scary (and a little morbid) when you think about it.

How do you choose to use your time?

Last night, as I was laying in the dark while my husband dozed beside me, my mind was racing. I knew the workload I had coming up this week and next week was very, very demanding. A lot of projects coming together at one time. Traveling next week for work. The house needs a good vacuuming/mopping/dusting. Hubs’ schedule isn’t any better. Pup needs to go to the vet and get groomed. I have a goal of blogging once per day. I made plans for two nights this week with friends. I’m two episodes behind on True Blood (crazy!). I NEED TO WORK OUT.

So the next couple of weeks are going to be a lesson in balance. How can I offset my work stress when I’m not there? Fat Emmie would have vegged, watched lots of TV, gotten take-out every night, and then snacked until it was time to go to bed. This Emmie got up and did her workout at 5:30am, went to work and was super-productive (albeit stressed), got home a little late, made cajun salmon and kale with garlic, watched “Losing It with Jillian” from my DVR, threw the clothes in the dryer, fed the pup, and am now blogging. As soon as I hit “publish” on this post, I will promptly get in bed with full intentions of doing the same thing tomorrow.

Balance isn’t easy. If it were, our lives would be much more easy-breezy. We are in control of our own choices. We have the power to say “no.” I might have to reschedule 1 of my nights out with friends. Does it kind of suck? Yes. Would losing my sanity or losing my rhythm of productivity and getting up early suck more? Heck yes.

So right now, make your choice. Tomorrow I choose to be balanced.

What do you need in your life to balance? How do you fit it all in? What are your tips?

Exhausted

Skinny Emmie — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 01:01:48 +0000

Since I started this whole “working out” thing, my energy levels have been pretty good. I didn’t know how I was going to fit another 5 hours of work into my weeks that already feel rushed and crazy. Sometimes, like today, workouts have to come at 5:40am. Sometimes, like last Thursday, they have to come at 8pm. My TV watching has become almost non-existent, except for the requisite shows True Blood and now, Huge. So far I’ve managed.

But today? Man am I tired. Really this whole week. Work is super busy, my house is a mess, my husbands schedule has been crazy, my workouts are getting harder, and the 5K is Saturday. And I have summer cold. Awesome.

So why the hell did I get up at 5:40 this morning to go to the gym? Honestly, I have no idea. It feels strange to say this, but I think I enjoy it. Say what!??!

I love being able to say I did 5 workouts in a week. I love when I get in my car all tomato-faced and sweaty from head to toe, knowing that I, at my weight, kicked the gym’s ass. Today, I did high intensity, which is supermegahardomg. Warm up for 5 minutes, sprint for 1 minute, drop heart rate a little for 1 minute, sprint 1 minute, drop heart rate 1 minute, sprint 1 minute, 5 minute drop to warm up level, repeat. Other than the dude on the treadmill next to me whose flatulence was ‘silent but violent’, I felt awesome to be at the gym before the sun was up, sweating my ass off. Would I have rather been sleeping? For the first time in forever, my answer is an adamant NO. *cue breakthrough music*

Something else cool happened today. I got an email from someone with the Mutual of Omaha “my aha moment” campaign letting me know they’d be in Lexington today and tomorrow, and asked if I wanted to share my “aha moment” with them. So, I got interviewed in this mini-studio that was set up in their Airstream trailer. I’ll share when the video goes online.

If you haven’t taken my little survey yet, please do so. I have lots of ideas of things I want to write about more, but can’t seem to prioritize… so I’m asking you!

Metabolism and Exercise

Skinny Emmie — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 01:01:22 +0000

Someone had a couple of questions for Trainer Rob – submitted through the “Ask me Anything” box to the right of the blog. Here are his answers:

1) Trainer Rob mentioned at one point toward the end of the “Motivation” video that some people go to the gym and end up lowering their metabolism. I was wondering if he/you could elaborate on that.

Trainer Rob: First we must have a clear understanding of “metabolism.” Dictionary.com defines metabolism as 1. Biology, Physiology. the sum of the physical and chemical processes in an organism by which its material substance is produced, maintained, and destroyed, and by which energy is made available.

Most people think of metabolism only in the sense of destruction…or in gym terms we ask: “How fast is our ability to burn calories?” But that is truly only one side of the equation. What we produce and maintain is probably a larger issue in weight loss and success at the gym.

Your typical gym member working out with weights or cardio does next to nothing to burn the right type of calories and increase their EPOC (or ability to continue burning calories after a workout). If you do not properly increase your EPOC levels via stage interval training or circuit based metabolic weight training there is potential to create a HUGE problem: INCREASED HUNGER!

Let’s use examples here. Jim, a male who is 40 years old, 6 feet tall and weighs 250lbs goes to the gym 6 days per week and runs at a steady pace for 30 minutes and then does bench press for 4 sets and leg extensions for 4 sets in 30 minutes (stopping for 2-3 minutes at a time between sets to chat with friends). His “steady state” cardio puts his heart rate at an avg of 85% of his maximum for most of his run. It is tough for him so he gets a good sweat and feels like he has worked pretty hard. He burns an estimated 500 calories during this 60 minute workout.

Joe, also a 40 yr old male at 6 ft and 250lbs, practices high intensity interval training (high, medium and low) for 30 minutes 6 days a week and lifts weights in a fast paced circuit fashion 4 days per week. He rests only as needed during lifting and his cardio is heart rate specific. He burns a similar 500 calories in his hour workouts.

So, both men should have the same metabolism right? Wrong! Joe, our second example, works out specifically to build his EPOC and allow his body to increase its ability to produce energy, maintain energy and destroy toxins. He is increasing his metabolism all while supressing his appetite. His workouts are so hard, the thought of eating bad foods or overeating makes him cringe. All the while, an hour after Jim’s workouts he wouldn’t mind eating McDonald’s because truth be told it won’t affect his ability to condcut his “easy” workouts.

The moral of this story is make sure you are performing workouts that raise your EPOC. Don’t just say… “hey, i am going to the gym and that is good.” The gym is dangerous…it can make you hungrier and fatter!

My preferred methods of gut busting, EPOC raising workouts: cardio (HIIT stage training performed with a heart rate monitor). Weights: circuit based full body workouts with high rep ranges.

If you don’t have a coach, go get one! But make sure they know what EPOC is

2) I’ve been thinking about doing some interval work myself; the one thing that’s been stopping me is things I’ve read in a couple of books I purchased (one is for the Sprint8 workout, if Rob is familiar with it) that caution against attempting sprint workouts before building up an aerobic base. I wondered if you/Trainer Rob would be willing to address that on the blog as well.

Trainer Rob: I am familiar with the Sprint8 program and it is a nice tool in the toolbox. Like anything at the gym, it has its place and will run its course in due time. The reason these programs will warn about increasing your aerobic endurance prior to “sprint training” is that during “rests” your heart rate needs to come down and that by definition is aerobic endurance. So if you cannot get your heart rate down after a sprint, the next sprint is rendered useless because you won’t tap into an atp_glycolysis energy to conduct the sprint and you will use the wrong energy sources.

The best way to increase your aerobic endurance is HIIT training. If you cannot conduct HIIT training, make sure you spend half of your cardio in a steady state fashiom for 60 minutes…keeping your heart rate at 65-75% of max. And the other half in endurce interval fashion at 3-5 minutes at 80-85% max with 1 minute recoveries at 65-75% max.

Get out there and work hard!

A blog is like fat camp

Skinny Emmie — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 00:49:49 +0000

FYI, this is a totally random post. But whatevs…

I just caught up with the 2nd episode of Huge, and I actually am kind of enjoying it. I have literally been there, at fat camp, at those kids ages. Although, my fat camp was WAY more posh than theirs. No cabins and mini trampolines for workouts. Multi-million dollar fitness facility where the Chargers used to train, and lived in some of the nicest college dorms I still do this day have seen. That is neither here nor there though- the similarities are still abundant. Girls and guys trying to hook up with each other, people “dealing” junk food, cattiness of a bunch of hormonal girls in the same place, crushing over camp staff- it’s enough to make me want to be a teenager again

The best thing about fat camp though, is that everyone is in the same boat with you. You’re all there to accomplish something- weight loss, fitness, looking hot, whatever. You all take similar paths to reach the end of the summer. Some might choose circuit training and others might choose basketball, but you’re all working towards the same thing. You’re surrounded by like-minded people all struggling with the same thing, and in the solace of (hopefully) well-intended counselors and advisors to help you going in the right direction.

In this sense, a blog is like fat camp. The people who read and tweet and share their struggles, questions, stories, and even critiques (see my Eats page if you want to see people second guessing my food program) are all in the same boat. We may all be at different spots in the journey, but we’re all still here, trying to make the correct choices day in and day out. We see this possibility that our lives can be better, and in our own ways, have this pact of mutual respect and understanding for the struggles and the triumphs.

So, I just want to say “thank you” for being in this boat with me. This is my “safe place” to get everything out, and to share whatever is going on. I think of it as some form of fatty therapy, and I’m so glad you guys are my counselors

If you need to catch up on my past fat camp follies posts here you go:

Fat Camp Follies: A Primer

Why Fat Camp?

Arrival and Setting the Scenery

100 Shades of Red

Pop Star

Sneakin’ Around Part 1

Sneakin’ Around Part 2

Like a Moth to a Flame

Weigh In | 7.12.10

Skinny Emmie — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 12:48:25 +0000

I haven’t posted a weigh in since June 16th when I had a 6 pound GAIN. I was so upset, but it got me to the doctor who got me on medicine for my pitting edema, and also for some lab tests. I’m still waiting on the 2nd set of lab tests to come back that I had on July 3 after some red flags from the original testing.

My husband did great with hiding the scale, but I had decided I would weigh today. I put myself in a different mind set. If I didn’t lose weight, it was okay. I know I’m making progress with my fitness. I know my measurements are going down. I know I’m still retaining a little bit of water. I know I’m not getting nearly enough sleep at night. I made peace with that before I stepped on the scale.

391.

The week before my 6 pound gain, I was at 394. So, this is a net loss of 3 pounds. Total of 64 pounds gone so far.

I’ll take it. I’ll take it and run with it. The scale is going back into hiding for 2 more weeks.

What’s Your Goal?

Skinny Emmie — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 23:10:07 +0000

I’ve been getting more email questions about various things, so I decided to add a “Ask Me Anything” box in the right sidebar of the blog. Is there something you want me to answer on the blog? If so, just pop in a question there and submit. You can submit anonymous questions if you want, but if it’s mean spirited or offensive, it will not get answered. As always, you can email me if you’d rather ask something privately.

I was thinking about more questions today that I probably needed to think about as I go through this process. It was interesting to see on the blog and on Twitter how you guys define “fit” from yesterday’s post. One of the things that makes weight loss so hard is that it’s so individualized. The process is not only physical, but it’s extremely emotional. It’s shaped on how you were raised, what your family attitudes towards fat or fitness were, how your friends talk about fat or fitness, etc. It’s about the farthest thing away from a cookie cutter as possible.

During this long weight loss journey, I’m sure I’ll change my mind on these questions as I progress. Take goals, for instance. The more progress I make in the journey, the more my goals change. Have you experienced the same thing?

So- what is my goal?

When I started, my goals were very long-sided. To weigh 200 pounds. To fit wherever I wanted to: restaurant booths, bathroom stalls, airplane seats…

Now? Sure, I still want to fit. Not sure what I want my weight to be. The lowest I ever remember being is 215 (I’m 5’10, that puts me around a sie 14/16 misses), so why I said 200 is kind of beyond me. I think my goals for right now are a lot more short-sided. The road is so long that I’m having to feel small successes more frequently in order to keep motivation. Tonight, my goal is to make it through my high intensity workout without falling, puking or crying. Next week, my goal is to complete the 5K. After that is to stay consistent with my workouts until my cruise. During the cruise my goal will be to not eat like crazy and to stay active. Beyond that? No idea.

Obviously the end goal is “health” or “fitness” but those are so broad… it’s not like I can write that down and then know on Tuesday, “ooh! I just reached my goal of health! Let me check that off the list!”

How frequently do you change your goals? What are your goals RIGHT NOW?

What Would Fit Feel Like?

Skinny Emmie — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 01:51:48 +0000

I may not be applying for The Biggest Loser again, but I do have to admit that the application does have some great questions on it that hopefully make the people applying stop to really think about their motives. Don’t worry- I didn’t download the application for myself. I’ve been reading Jen Lancaster’s book, Bitter is the New Black, and came across a portion where she talks about her Biggest Loser casting experience and some of the answers she put on her application. That got me remembering that there were some thought provoking questions on the season 10 application, so I thought I’d take a look to see if I’ve “figured it out” yet. I’ll probably post a few of these over the next couple of weeks- I would love for you to pop in and comment with your responses as well!

Today’s Question: What do you think would be the best thing about being fit? How would your life be different?

Soar by Sudachi on Flickr

*le sigh* Seriously. It’s not like I’ve never been fit. When I went through all my fat camp experiences, I left pretty damn fit. Working out 5+ hours a day will do that to you. I taught aerobics classes. Kickboxing and step aerobics. I was still 215 pounds, my lowest I can ever remember being (a size 16 misses). I could go for a jog, bound up stairs, be on my feet for hours on end. That lasted all of about 4 months, and then the freshman 15 50 happened. It’s been 11 years since I’ve felt fit. 11 damn years! Can you imagine?

So, how would my life be different? I have no idea how to describe it. The feeling of not being limited by your size and by your lack of stamina sounds so good right now I could cry. No more hips against the arms of chairs. No more worries about if there is a fire alarm at work and I have to scale a bunch of stairs. No more having to prop my legs up at night to help the swelling go down. When I become fit, I will feel this earned sense of freedom. Maybe I’ll feel closer to my age. Maybe my head will stop telling me I can’t do things.

Maybe it won’t.

Maybe I’ll still have some issues due to the fact I allowed myself to get to my highest weight of 455 pounds. Maybe I’ll have lingering joint pain from carrying around the weight for so long. I know that my body won’t be tight and toned (at least without the assistance of a total body lift). Even then, my body will have scars. My mind will have scars.

So how would my life be different? I’m not 100% sure yet, but I know it would be better, and I can’t wait to find out.

How about you? What would fit feel like? What DOES fit feel like?

July Workout Music

Skinny Emmie — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 00:40:09 +0000

I just finished making a new playlist for July and thought I’d pop it here in case anyone is looking for new workout music!

Workout Music

Extreme Kickball and Inches Lost

Skinny Emmie — Mon, 05 Jul 2010 23:39:39 +0000

I know that extreme kickball and inches lost don’t really go together as a topic, but since I haven’t blogged this holiday weekend and that is what I have to talk about, here it goes!

After I blogged Saturday about my (almost) killer session with Trainer Rob, my body just felt really fatigued. It was going “what the hell just happened?!” but nonetheless, my mind felt great. I went to a cookout at my in-laws house, and after dinner, a game of kickball ensued.

Normally, I would sit off to the side and not participate. This time, I thought “what the heck!” and jumped in.

Turns out that I might be better off running on a treadmill after all, because I CLEARLY can’t keep my feet under me when I run in the grass. I was running to first base, and my foot slipped out from under me. I tried to regain my footing, but ended up going down face first. Whoops. My bro-in-law broke his big toe during the same game. And he beamed the ball at my head. Thankfully, no major injuries from any of this, but I think next time the in-law-fam decides to play kickball, we need protective gear.

I have another very minor “injury” if you can call it that, but I prefer to think of it as a war scar.

See that? Gym rug burn from doing dolphin plank pose. Can’t say I didn’t give it my all!

Ok, all of my clumsiness aside…

Yesterday I’m counting my hour and a half of yardwork as my low intensity day. I was wiped out after all the clipping, trimming, chain-sawing and weed pulling in the 90+ degree heat. I would have never gotten out in the yard and done so much 5 weeks ago, for sure. Felt good.

Today, since I’m still boycotting the scale, I did take my measurements. Since I’ve started the gym 5 weeks ago, I lost another 5.75 inches, bringing me up to 36.5 total inches lost so far. *does a happy dance*

Today, I did absolutely NOTHING and it felt great. Back to the grind tomorrow. Hope everyone has a great week!

Bloodwork Results and Computer Fail

Skinny Emmie — Wed, 30 Jun 2010 13:15:20 +0000

Sorry for no new post yesterday! I actually was producing 2 vlogs and also started a blog post when my computer gave me the blue screen of death. Defeated and tired, I sulked on to bed. I’ll get some of the stuff back up later tonight.

In the meantime, I wanted to quickly mention that I got bloodwork results back in yesterday from when I went to see the doctor about my pitting edema. Thankfully, my liver and kidneys are fine, however the doctor wrote that my thyroid shows signs of being underactive and that I need to get re-tested within the next 6 weeks. I’ve had thyroid tests before as we’ve tried to figure out why my weight loss can be really slow, but this is the first time its come up as “abnormal.” In some small way, I hope that this *might* be true so I can get on medicine that might help my body work how it’s supposed to!

Editing to add: I’m going to get my 2nd blood test done on Friday. Will talk with doc and see what he says about the first results and also my ongoing pitting edema.

Anyone had experience with underactive thyroid?

Huge: A show about fat camp

Skinny Emmie — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 01:16:40 +0000

First off, a tip of my hat to my new readers who have found me through The Fat Girl’s Guide to Living (one of my favorite blogs) today. So happy you’re here!

So maybe you’ve heard about this, or maybe not. There’s a new series/special launching tonight on ABC Family called “Huge.” And get this: it’s about teenagers at FAT CAMP.

Seriously guys- if you know me and have read ANY of my fat camp follies posts (all linked at the end of this post), you know that fat camp made up a huge part of my life. Not just in time I spent there, but in how it shaped me in how I look at my health, my body, and even my social relationships. I will continue to write fat camp stories and talk about fat camp until the day I die.

Somehow though, when I saw the commercial for this show, I got really defensive. I could think of hundreds of stereotypes that the writers could put on these heavier actors. The potential of fat shaming, stories of outcasts who band together in kum-ba-ya moments that will inevitably disintegrate once they leave the comfort of the fat camp surroundings. The show is based on the book of the same name, by author Sasha Paley.

I don’t talk much, if at all, on here about the whole Health at Any Size (HAES) debate or the Fat Acceptance (FA) movement. I just go along my merry way of trying to get healthy and oversharing my journey. There are people in the FA community who think it’s wrong that I’m trying to lose weight- that I should accept myself as I am, etc. Are you overweight and happy with it? More power to ya! Overweight like me and feel like you need to make a journey to health? Rock on! We all as individuals are entitled to treat our bodies the way we want to. They are in our control, and how we choose to pursue healthy efforts is our own prerogative. In some ways, I think that’s what makes the whole healthy living and if so associated, weight loss journey, so difficult. We make hundreds of decisions a day that affect our health. In order to be successful, we have to make more correct decisions than incorrect ones in order to come out on top. It’s exhausting!

Anyway, now that I’m rambling, I’ll try to close it out:

I hope that “Huge” portrays some sort of underlying theme that even if you’re larger than “the norm” that you can be healthy and happy. And that the scale doesn’t dictate how healthy you are. That it’s not showing larger teenagers in a light where they must be segregated and shown as more emotionally vulnerable than the next hormonal teenager out there. I’m DVR’ing it (have to get up early to go to the gym), so I’ll probably watch it this weekend and let you know what I think. If nothing else, maybe it will conjure up some more funny fat camp stories for me to share.

Have you heard of this show? Are you going to watch it?

And if you need to catch up on my past fat camp follies posts here you go:

Fat Camp Follies: A Primer

Why Fat Camp?

Arrival and Setting the Scenery

100 Shades of Red

Pop Star

Sneakin’ Around Part 1

Sneakin’ Around Part 2

Like a Moth to a Flame

Old Habits Die Hard

Skinny Emmie — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 01:58:55 +0000

Quick story from today:

I went to the gym this morning, as I normally do on Sunday’s. Sunday’s are pretty quiet around the gym, especially during church time.

I pull into the parking lot.

Park somewhere in the middle.

Start walking to the gym door.

Realize there was a parking spot RIGHT IN FRONT that I could have taken. We’re taking prime asphalt real estate here.

I curse myself for not looking for the best parking spot.

Freeze in my tracks and start hilariously laughing.

I’m at the GYM. To move my ASS. And my fat girl mentality is that I screwed up by not parking as close to the front of the gym as possible. Because that extra 20 steps from my car to the coveted front spot is THAT HARD TO WALK.

I was laughing at myself. This silly habit I’ve had forever to find the best parking spot, and I just realized how silly that is. I have 2 good legs. I can walk. Walking is good for me.

I have a feeling that throughout this journey I’m going to keep finding these little habits that have contributed to my laziness and size over the years.

Can any of you relate to this?

Wise Words of Johnny Depp

Diet #FAIL: The Cabbage Soup Diet

Skinny Emmie — Wed, 23 Jun 2010 00:29:47 +0000

This is another post in my Diet #FAIL series where I talk about some of the diets I’ve been on during my lifetime. Join in and share your experiences!

Surely you’ve heard of The Cabbage Soup Diet, right? Basically you eat cabbage soup ALL THE TIME, with a few select extras depending on the day of the week. Maybe one day you can eat fruit. Or another you can eat a potato. And another you might get *gasp* some meat.

When I was about 12, my mom went on The Cabbage Soup Diet. I liked cabbage, and I liked soup, so she didn’t have to convince me much to do it with her. I was like her little diet buddy.

The thing about this diet is that it’s a short term fix. DIET shouldn’t automatically equal “unsustainable” or “fad.” DIET means “a way of eating.” With the cabbage soup, you consume about 800-1200 calories a day, which, for most people, is way too low.

I think we did the diet for about 5 days, at which point my skinny-minny sister and dad were probably begging for some freakin’ real food.

What about you? Ever try this one?

I’m on a Boat

Skinny Emmie — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 01:36:49 +0000

…ok, so I’m not on a boat yet. But at the end of August, I’ll be on this boat:

Yep, I’m going on a cruise. I’m scared. And excited.

Hubs and I are going for a 5 night western Caribbean cruise on Royal Caribbean. Neither of us have cruised before. The timing is intentional- I will have finished up my 12 week program with Trainer Rob. This means I have a whole week off without workouts until the next program starts. I do plan on being as active as possible on the boat though. And I plan on eating as best as I can- the last thing I want to do is sabotage all my efforts.

I thought the cruise would be a great way to break out of my shell and do things I normally wouldn’t even try with this body of mine, ala Ruby and her Australian Adventure. I had grand plans!

Snorkeling- SURE!

Jet Skiing- WOOT!

ATV Jungle Rides through Cozumel- SCORE!

Hubs and I jumped online to book our excursions, and I swear that every one of them that I picked had weight limits WAY below what I weigh. I mean, I knew I couldn’t do a zipline or parasail, but ride a ATV? Jet Ski?

So my doubt monster starts creeping in my head. During snorkeling, what if I can’t pull myself back onto the boat? What if even during a lazy bus tour it’s crowded and I don’t fit in the seats crammed next to my 6’5, 280 pound husband? I read horror stories about how small the cabin bathrooms are and how I might not fit. Really?

I read the Fat Girl’s Guide to Cruising and it helped relieve my fears a little. But those fat girls aren’t as big as Fat Emmie. Don’t even get me started on how I’m going to have to find cute bathing suits and warm weather clothes. Panic!

So while I try to calm myself down about not fitting, I will give you the obligatory “I’m on a Boat.” It is profane. And hilarious. Just don’t play it on your speakers at work. Or if you have an aversion to profanity.

So let me hear it- have you been on a cruise before? What was it like? Any tips for me?

No related posts.

Diet #FAIL: Fen-Phen

Skinny Emmie — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 23:27:11 +0000

I thought I would start a series of posts to talk about previous failed weight loss attempts I’ve experienced in my 20 year dieting history. Feel free to share your comments and stories as well!

I’ve struggled with weight issues my whole life. Even as a toddler, I was pudgy. I was always hyper-aware of my weight, this nagging issue that was always front and center of my concerns and insecurities. Blah.

My mom was also really hyper-aware of her weight. She tried every gimmicky thing out there. You name it, she tried it (and usually I tried it along with her). When I was 14, she found the miraculous Fen-Phen from some weight loss doctor. She was on it and had tons of energy and never wanted to eat. So naturally, she took me to the doctor to get me on the stuff.

From Wikipedia:

Fen-phen was an anti-obesity medication (an anorectic) which consisted of two drugs: fenfluramine and phentermine. Fenfluramine, and later, a related drug, dexfenfluramine, was marketed by American Home Products, now known as Wyeth, but were shown to cause potentially fatal pulmonary hypertension and heart valve problems, which eventually led to their withdrawal and legal damages of over $13 billion.^[1] Phentermine was not shown to cause harmful effects.^[1] Wyeth made drugs marketed as Redux and Pondimin, which were used as the fenfluramine half of the fen-phen combination formula.^[2]

It was supposed to be the hottest thing in weight loss! This combination of 2 pills that would make you want to exercise and not eat- genius!

I know what kind of questions you must be thinking:

What was your mom thinking to put you on drugs that early?
Why were you so worried about your weight at age 14?
What kind of doctor would prescribe that to you at such a young age?

Honestly, I don’t have the answers to those questions. All I know is that I took the pills and had tons of energy.

One day in gym class (which I usually hated), I was running around and then we did sit ups. I ended up getting super, super dizzy and lightheaded. I blacked out for a couple of minutes. If the feeling itself wasn’t enough to make me scared shitless, the embarrassment of having that happen in gym class at school was enough for me to put the stops on that.

Did it work for my mom? No. Like everything else, it was just one of those temporary things that you hope and wish will work out, and doesn’t. Thankfully before she passed, she didn’t have heart valve issues that Fen-Phen has come to be known for, and I haven’t had any either, thankfully.

What about you guys? Anyone out there ever try this?

Sunday Ramblings

Skinny Emmie — Sun, 20 Jun 2010 18:31:28 +0000

Hi friends, I’m still chewing on my whole body image/weight perception question from the other day. Have gotten a lot of great comments about the subject.

Lots of things I want to write about, but don’t have the energy today, so I’m going to keep you waiting Instead, ramblings for today:

Sweaty Emmie Sunday

Had my 3rd session with Trainer Rob at Lexington Athletic Club on Saturday. Can we say butt kicked? But it a good way. Seriously. He was really pleased with my progress as I had to go noticeably faster and at higher incline to get my heart rate up to the proper levels. Even I could tell the difference in the way my body responded to the exercise. It’s the first time in this process that I have actually FELT like I KNOW I’m getting fit.
Worked out this morning (medium intensity) and have felt a little sluggish since then. My body is tired and my mind is tried. I have to get some work done today, so no rest for the weary! Bring on the coffee!
Happy Fathers Day to all the pops out there. I haven’t written about my dad much here before. He lives in Nebraska, and we don’t talk very much- no bad blood or anything, he’s just not the chatty-shoot-the-shit kind of person (and frankly, neither am I). I think it is cultural also- he’s from Hong Kong and the father/daughter relationship is just different than here in the US. Again, nothing bad at all, just different!
My leg swelling and water retention is getting a little better. Still having some issues, but I’m confident my body will sort it self out sooner or later. Not posting a weigh in tomorrow because of said issues.
Per Trainer Rob, adding 1 day of weight training to my 3 days of cardio this week (plus my 1 day with him, so 5 days total). Lord help me get my schedule together. Need to remember my PRIORITIES!
I updated my 101 in 1001 list- check it out! Knocked 3 things off, removed 1, and have another 2 scheduled to finish soon.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Hope you guys are having a great weekend!