The post about food.

October 1, 2012

I get lots of questions emailed to me about my food: what do I eat, how much, what do I suggest, etc. Talking about food is almost as uncomfortable for me as talking about religion or politics. It’s a massive part of my problem with my weight as well as the thing that I’ve put the most energy into trying to correct. I’ll show my workout videos to the world all day long, but if you ask me to talk about my relationship with food, it’s like you’re asking me the most intimate details of the most sordid relationship of my life.

For me, food has been, or currently is:

  • Nourishment
  • My nemesis
  • My best friend
  • My security blanket
  • My novacaine
  • Fuel
  • My boredom buster
  • The source of deep shame
  • My addiction

To criticize my food choices is like calling my kid (if I had one) ugly. I am a recovering binge eater, and the shame in that is immense. Throughout my life, I’ve seen multiple nutritionists and therapists to help me craft a better, loving, mutually beneficial relationship with food. It’s something I imagine struggling with forever.

I’ve been making big strides in the way I live my life so I can find the level of health I desire. Coming back post-injury, I’ve found my love of workouts again, have changed my work situation to greatly reduce my stress, and have continued therapy to break down the numeous mental barriers I have. Food, the four letter word (in a dirty way, not a literal way – even though I know it technically is 4 letters!) is something that I have to address to be successful.

My action steps with food:

  • Meal plan
  • Track everything – not for nutrition, but for awareness of what my habits are
  • Be honest with myself

I don’t plan on sharing what exactly I’m eating or what my exact meals are because I don’t feel like I’m the best source for nutritional advice. Not that it’s anything extreme. For me, I’m going back to what has worked for me in the past where I feel the best. This means eliminating wheat, sugar, alcohol, and artificial sugars.

To help, I’ve made a meal planner that you’re free to download if you’d like. I ended up removing “grains” and “bread/bakery” from my grocery list columns though since I don’t eat those.

Download Full Planner // Download edited version without bread/bakery and grains categories

 

  • http://www.estherfox.com/ Esther

    Just out of curiosity, what type of therapist would one see for something like this? I have been wondering for a while if a psychiatrist would help, but I don’t know. Thanks in advance :)

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com/ Emily Sandford

      A psychiatrist is a medical doctor who prescribes medications. I’d recommend looking for a therapist (LCSW) or psychologist that has experience in treating eating disorders. Also, a nutritionist who specializes in eating disorder treatment could help.

      • http://www.estherfox.com/ Esther

        That makes perfect sense. Thanks so much :)

  • Amy

    I’m a newby to your blog and I’m thoroughly enjoying it! Kudos to you for all the hard work you have done so far and continue to do. It is a battle – every. single. day. I have given up wheat as well and I feel so much better. I also have cut out meat from four legged animals, mostly because my friend was diagnosed with diabetes earlier this year and that was one suggestion of her doc. My last set of labs my hemoglobin A1c was high so, I figure changing my eating habits along with cutting out said meat as well as exercise, I should be able to nip this in the bud before it gets out of control. I have to say, I feel really, really good giving up wheat as well as sugar (for the most part). I do still, however, use artificial sweetner (Splenda), but in moderation. All in all, way less sugary food intake. I am basically eating a low carb diet, but not Atkins or South Beach. Just my own based on how I feel with different foods and the amount of carbs I take in per meal. It is working for me and I think that is what is most important. Each person is different and I think we have to do what works for us. I too write down what I eat each day. It is the only way to hold myself responsible for what I put in my mouth. If I see it on paper, it happened and I can’t deny it. Keep up the great work. It is a struggle, but you can do it! You ARE doing it! :)

  • D …

    Such a great post. For me I’d have to agree with every single one of those, I’m trying to think of others but its 4.30am and I’m oddly still awake!!! Food is my nemesis it really is, and after spending a year hacking through social anxiety, family/childhood issues and depression with my therapist with great success I’m now trying to smash through the barrier of food, oh and horrible anxiety, argh always so much to work on. Thanks for this post, I’ve also cut out sugar recently and feel better for it, now I’m trying to tackle the coke zero problem, yikes!

  • http://twitter.com/sideculture Tiera

    I am definitely a binge eater as well, and when I’ve been diligent and committed to meal planning, it has helped so much! It’s when I’m left to order out or wander through the grocery store or kitchen that I slip up — buying/making way too much food, then eating it all for comfort or refusing to waste the money/time I just spent. But I just get lazy and don’t keep up with it, unfortunately. I’m gonna make a much better effort going forward. Thanks and good luck :)

  • Maeve

    Emily, you are so fantastic. You so often echo my internal sentiments about many aspects of health. I’m glad you don’t feel the need to speak about your food intake- I think it invites unhealthy comparisons and a lot of judgement-where-it-doesnt-belong. Suggesting how others may benefit from your planner is such a graceful way to dodge this tricky issue in the HLB world. Thanks!

  • carrie

    Emmie – I can relate to this post in so many ways… I feel like I could be the poster child. When people are critical of my eating habits (aka… my “baby” lol) I just get mad and want to eat more of whatever they are criticizing! *sigh* sometimes I wish other things could be my kryptonite… i mean you don’t have to face cocaine everyday… I know I could have much worse struggles… but it’s frustrating none-the-less… especially since I know this will be a lifelong issue for me. :-(

  • Chrisitne Davidson

    Thank you so much for this post…really for your whole blog. I am new here and I am so thankful to have found you!! I am a binge eater and carb-aholic…I am also celiac, so wheat is a no no for me anyway. I am currently on a very high protein/low carb diet and have lost 20lbs so far. I don’t have a “buddy” so am doing this alone…your blog has helped a lot!! Some days however I feel like I could kill someone for a carb!! Seriously!!
    Anyway..thank you so much for your honesty…it is appreciated!!

  • Ang

    As a compulsive overeater, I too have struggled. Even now, with making good choices and watching what I eat, I still think about food constantly. Food addiction is one of the hardest to break, since we still have to eat in order to live. People think we’re just lazy or undisciplined, but it’s really difficult, especially when you’ve spent a lifetime using food as a crutch or as comfort. Thank you for your bravery, your blog truly is one of my biggest inspirations!
    angiloo.blogspot.com

  • http://twitter.com/kitchenkm Steph

    Love this post! Love the meal planner as well! I definitely need to get better with my shopping lists and this might do the trick. Thank you for sharing!

  • http://twitter.com/MizFitOnline carla birnberg

    it’s the being honest which is exhausting huh? with food and relationships and all of it.
    WHEW. xo

  • http://leecooks.blogspot.com/ Margy and Lee

    Holy cow, I could have written this! Thanks for sharing!

  • Rhona

    Thought this might help…I have been listening to this podcast(halfsizeme.com) for several months now & just recently there has been alot of talk regarding–binge eating– I too am a fellow binge eater & trying to correct this problem..
    Heather (the host) is hosting a free webinar to help survive the upcoming holidays & she is also working on releasing a workshop on binge eating..
    Check her out …hopefully you find her as helpful as I do…good luck & thank you for your honesty on your blog, you are a great inspiration to us all….

  • http://www.lifeplusrunning.com/ calee himes

    This is a great idea. Sounds like you’ve got a good plan! Just keep it up.

    Side note: Love that food graphic (and your meal planner graphic). Do you design yourself? Or do you have somebody else do it? Always interested because I’m a designer and it’s cool to meet other designer/healthy living/weight loss bloggers out there.

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com/ Emily Sandford

      Thanks Calee. I work in marketing, but don’t call myself a designer as I’m not super confident in it. I just fiddle :) I made the food graphic in Illustrator and the meal planner is just a Word table. The illustration of my logo was done by the talented Meghan Murphy of murphypop.com.

  • http://www.theyearofthephoenix.blogspot.com/ Jill (Lady Lazarus)

    Great idea! I love the spreadsheet.

  • A More Conscious E

    Great post! Love the spreadsheet.

  • Shanii

    It’s exhausting isn’t it? People don’t understand and I really wish it was as easy as “stop eating when you’re full” But I really admire you for admitting this to yourself and to us. Just know that you’re not alone and your blog really has helped me a lot :D I wish you all the best in your efforts.

    Simplyxshanii.blogspot.com

  • http://twitter.com/#!/pattyaizaga Patty

    I agree with you! Sometime I don’t know what to do with food! I am trying to figure out what works best for me but it also is a big source of my frustration. I have not seen a nutritionist but I think it’s time I do it. Not avoiding it just the old standby “Too busy”. I better make time for me. I’m definitely going to use your planner. Thanks Emmie! xoxo

  • http://twitter.com/BhamJen Jennifer Dome

    Great post! I feel very private about my food choices too. I don’t divulge what I eat each and every day for many reasons, including the fact that what I choose to eat isn’t always “clean eating” and I don’t like to face the criticism for that. I try to eat real food, veggies, fruit, protein, etc. But the occasional Weight Watchers fudgesicle is fine, in my eyes, as long as it’s within my points range. Others would say it’s junk food, even if it’s just 3 pts. It’s a sensitive issue!

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