Mind Intimidation

May 15, 2012

It’s amazing what several months off of most exercise can do to your mind. Yes, your body is impacted negatively, but your mind seems to snap back into habits faster than you can blink.

image via Pinterest

My ankle injury and extremely slow progress with its healing has given my mind plenty of time to reform old nasty thoughts. The ones that say “no, you can’t do that.”

Do I think my body won’t physically be able to handle things? No. I am putting an automatic block up because I am afraid of looking dumb. Or being a newbie in a class. Or having people at the gym stare at me and assume I went missing due to lack of willpower rather than an injury. It’s really maddening.

I am thinking back to the times when I first went to the gym, first tried Zumba, first did a half-marathon… and I wonder how I got the balls to do those things then. Perhaps a deep desperation for a different life or for new experiences.

I bring this up because I have been thinking about taking some private yoga sessions. I told myself I wanted them private so I could find modifications to do to help ease me back to activity after injury and also to help find adaptations for any poses I might not be able to do because of my size. The instructor emailed me and asked what she could help me with — what my goals are with the private sessions.

In my unedited response, I noticed I used some variation of the word “intimidation” three times:

  • I want the private sessions so it’s less intimidating for me.
  • I don’t want to be intimidated by classes and not being able to do things.
  • The thought of starting a regular yoga practice without help is intimidating.

Say what?!

I re-read my answer before hitting “send.” Is intimidation the ONLY reason I’m doing this? What about the origin of wanting to explore yoga more? I want to feel centered and strong in my body. I feel disconnected, frustrated, clumsy, and stiff. I want to feel comfortable in the body I have now.

Let’s hope in getting back into a workout routine that my mind remembers the freedom that comes with trying new things, even when I’m intimidated.

Can you relate to this?

  • http://twitter.com/BigGirlBombshel Big Girl Bombshell

    Oh can I EVER! I just had my first “private” yoga session yesterday for so many of the reasons you mention. I posted a short while back about my fear of yoga…and I am SO HAPPY i made the decision for the private session……

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com/ Emily Sandford

      good! I hope I’m as happy as you are. I’m scheduling 3 private sessions to begin with, and then we’ll see from there where I feel comfortable going.

  • Holly Schroeder

    Definitely give yoga a try! I’m a plus-size girl and I am able to do most, if not all of the poses with only minor modificatons. I do feel a little self-conscious at times, I won’t lie, but I feel good about at least trying. I can certainly relate to the way you’re feeling though, I have dreams about wanting to run, but not being able to get my feet to work right and flailing around like a spaz. Something inside me wants to run, but I’ve got a crazy mental block about it and I feel nothing but intimidated. I’m determined to get past it once I build up my endurance a little with walking. I’d like to eventually do a 5k. :)

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com/ Emily Sandford

      This is so cliche, but… you have to walk before you run! I completely understand that fear. xo

  • http://twitter.com/debslosingit Debra Wilson

    I have an audio file for a yoga routine that is easy enough for someone of size or not experienced to get through with minimal modifications, and the instructor offers mods as you go as well. Its 55 minutes long, and while you won;t even realize it, you can work up a sweat doing it. If you’re interested in a copy of it, email me and I’ll send it to you. If you’re unsure of poses, listen to it first, then google them to see how they are done. :)

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com/ Emily Sandford

      thank you Debra! I’m going to try these 3 private sessions out to see if yoga is something I think I’d like to spend more time on, and if so, I’ll let you know.

  • http://twitter.com/Schmiet Diet Schmiet

    Yes, I feel intimidated when assume I will be less fit, less coordinate, less experienced (etc) than others.
    I think it takes some time before that feeling goes away… sometimes I’ve found that befriending some people in the class has helped!
    Am sure you’ll do great!

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com/ Emily Sandford

      That’s why I’m dragging a friend with me. So much easier not to chicken out when others are relying on you.

  • http://twitter.com/JennMMML Jennifer

    Yes!

    I get super anxious when I’m trying new things that I don’t feel physically prepared for. Finding the right gym was a nightmare because I was terrified that I wouldn’t be fit enough, coordinated enough or experienced enough to work out with the pros.

    What really helped me was making new friends at the gym. Soon enough I figured out that the anxiety I was feeling was pretty normal and that most of the new members felt pretty much the same way.

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com/ Emily Sandford

      So true, Jennifer. We all have some bits of insecurity in new situations – we just need to realize we’re all in the same boat.

  • Amber

    I can overthink myself out of anything and have when it comes to physical challenges. There’s always a million reasons for me to not do something and intimidation is at the heart of many of them. I notice that as I’m getting older and wiser, I am better able to ignore that voice but it’s still there.

    I took my first yoga class (I was around 230#) in February and it was awesome. I suppose every studio and teacher is different but the place I go to is very focused on yoga as a philosophy and spiritual path, not just a form of exercise, so they seemed to be a very non-judgmental, focus-on-the-journey kind of place. And wow. It has been one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself.

    One thing that a teacher said during a class that I’ve never forgotten: “You are an expert yoga practitioner right now, in the exact body you have right now. How you can best hold this position with your body at this very moment is all that you need to do. It is not about looking like the teacher or your neighbor, it is about inhabiting your body as it is today. And who is, or will ever be better at that than you are at this very moment? You are already a master.”

    Completely changed my relationship to my body and to exercise. I feel like I could write a book about how much yoga has benefited me. I hope you have a good experience with it too!

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com/ Emily Sandford

      Thanks so much for sharing your experience! I’ll report back :)

  • Jill (Lady Lazarus)

    The beauty of yoga is that everyone is so absorbed in their own practices, I promise hardly anyone will notice you. Don’t worry — I was nervous about starting a practice for the very same reason, but I am so glad I did. Five months later and I’m a rock star on the mat :) If there is one thing yoga has taught me, it’s that my body is capable of amazing things.

    But, like anything else, it can be hit or miss with the class and practice and instructor so don’t be afraid to try a different one if you don’t connect with the first one. I’d also recommend checking out Anna at Curvy Yoga. Her posts are amazing and something you (like I) can relate to. http://www.curvyyoga.com/

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com/ Emily Sandford

      Thank you. I love Anna – she is one of my favorite bloggers!
      I’ve practiced Bikram before, but never any other form. The hot wasn’t for me, so perhaps I’ll do better with this. I’ve heard nothing but amazing things about the instructor.

  • Ariana Barbour

    Ok, so before I even read the post that I totally relate to, I had to repin the image on Pinterest. So true, true, true. Thank you.

  • Andrea

    I totally relate to the intimidation factor, I’ve been on my journey for more than four years now and have lost 100lbs and not set a foot in a gym!! I’ve walked and driven past it (very slowly) to take a look through the front door, but feel too intimidated by all the young muscle men standing around the reception desk. There is a local sports centre, but is two feet from the local high school, so the thought of facing a group of kids laughing at me makes my stomach turn. I hate the way that this intimidation has ruled my life and I hope that one day soon I’ll get tunnel vision and walk straight through those doors and take no notice of what anyone says.

  • http://www.facebook.com/jennifer.jaszcarohlheiser Jennifer Jaszcar Ohlheiser

    It is intimidating to try new things but I have a saying that I keep trying to repeat to myself: “Behold the turtle; she makes no progress unless she sticks her neck out.” GO FOR IT GIRL!

  • jennifer

    hey – you have already said exactly what i was going to tell you. find a friend – its way less scary, and you feel like at least someone will be having the same problems.

  • Crystal Thai

    I am with you and many others on feeling intimidated regarding fitness classes and gyms being plus size. I assume that other people assume that since I’m fat I don’t belong!

    This intimidation kept me from a fantastic bootcamp class since I was afraid I couldn’t keep up and that I would hold the others back. Overcoming the fear was amazing ~ I finally did the class and yes, I couldn’t always keep up, but the others were so supportive.

    It is hard to not let intimidation get in the way ~ go out and take the Yoga classes fearless!

  • http://twitter.com/#!/nycpatty Patty

    I totally get what you are saying. My mind is intimidated because of all the things that have happened in the last few weeks. I also want to get back into a workout routine but haven’t because of my schedule. I’m planning on fixing that next week. I also miss yoga and I have been avoiding it because my mind is not clear or focused. But I will try again!

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