But CPAPs are for fat people

December 1, 2011

I can’t believe I’m admitting this, but I’m an open book, so why not?

When my doctor told me the other day about all of my test results, I was shocked. The hormone and vitamin levels weren’t too surprising, however to hear that I have sleep apnea and needed a CPAP (continuous positive airway pressure) machine nearly bowled me over. My first reaction (in my head): “But CPAPs are for fat people!”

Yes, I realize I’m fat. I realize I’m obese. Hell, morbidly obese.

Let’s just take a moment to let my idiotic thought sink in. Oy.

Sometimes in my little land of Emmie happiness, I actually do forget that I’m fat. Considering I’ve been fat my entire life, these moments are quite rare and fleeting. (Soon, I will share my “History of Fat,” it’s pretty impressive.) For a brief, brain-farting moment in the doctors office, my brain processed these distinct thoughts in rapid succession (less than a second):

  1. OMG, CPAPs are for fat people!
  2. I lost 113 pounds so far and work out and eat right, I don’t need a CPAP
  3. Shit, even losing 113 pounds, I’m still fat – get it together!
  4. Ok, but I don’t snore. I used to snore, but I haven’t since I lost so much weight
  5. You’re crazy for judging CPAPs for fat people. Get over it, idiot!

Then it was over. My little hissy fit in my own mind came and went, yet I’m still upset at myself for even thinking like that. I had flashbacks of The Biggest Loser contestants meeting with Dr. H and showing the slow motion, grainy videos of them taking dozens of pills and sleeping with their CPAPs. I can’t ever recall seeing a thin person anywhere wearing a CPAP. Thick necks and choked throats are one cause of sleep apnea, and even losing 10% of your body weight can significantly improve symptoms. I’ve lost 25% of my body weight. Blarg.

It’s hard to admit that you’re not in tip-top condition when you’ve worked so hard. But if I want to continue my journey to living my best life, give me that CPAP and let’s hang on for the ride.

I would love to hear experiences if you have used a CPAP. Forgive my ignorance on sleep apnea. I don’t get my unit until next week, so I have no idea what to expect. I just want to feel rested.

Tagged as: cpap, sleep apnea

  • http://twitter.com/letdolphin Laura Moody

    I pray you have a better experience than I did.  I used one for a few months but never woke up with it on … one day my brother was in the same room as I was and said I gasp and grabbed at my face & tossed ~ however I wasn’t wearing my CPAP that day, which he was thankful for as it would have hit him.  They switched me to a retainer type thing I wear at night, which does work however makes your teeth really sore :)

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com Emily Sandford

      Yikes, hopefully I won’t have that experience Laura! I’m glad the retainer type thing works. I already wear a night guard (I grind my teeth). Wonder how gnarly I’d look all guarded up like I was going into a hockey game!

  • Guest

    While I generally view CPAP machines for obese people, I do know a couple of healthy-weight people who have to use them.  Also, supposedly ADHD and ADD have been related to sleep apnea in children.  This is where I think that sleep apnea is a very real problem that a few people really need, but for so many people we’re only treating a symptom of something else.  It sounds like, at this point in your life, you really need it.  Maybe it’s something you won’t always need, but maybe it’s something you will.  Good luck to you with everything!

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com Emily Sandford

      Thank you! It’s interesting you bring up the ADHD and ADD link to sleep apnea in children. My doctor and I had a discussion about how fixing the sleep apnea could potentially lead to a reduction in my depression and anxiety which I currently control with prescriptions. Everything is so tied together – it’s hard to figure out which treatment will best fix a problem that could be caused by 100 different things.

  • http://www.kentuckygeekgirl.com Tasha Lee

    I used my CPAP once and decided that I couldn’t do it anymore. I haven’t touched it since. This was 2009 when I was on the road to my highest weight. I know now that I should still be using it though I also no longer snore, or at least not as badly as I did, (so I’ve been told.) I sleep better now after 80 pounds lost, but I could always sleep better. It just really freaked me out though, the mask and such. I wish you the best of luck with it, maybe once I get my own insurance in December I’ll try it again.

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com Emily Sandford

      I hear ya, not sure if the mask will freak me out or not. I’ve been told they’ll work with me to find something that is most comfortable, so hopefully one will be tolerable. You’re doing incredible, Tasha!!

  • http://onmyweightohappiness.blogspot.com/ Sarah

    I was diagnosed with sleep apnea in Nov 2009, I snored, slept horribly and had no idea I quit breathing that many times a night. Scary stuff. I refused to wear the CPAP and said it was just gonna collect dust in my bedroom. It took me a month to get use to wearing it but I will tell you one thing, once you get use to it you will sleep so much better, feel really refreshed the next day and over all feel better. Even though Ive lost 125 lbs and am down to 145 lbs I still wear my CPAP on occassions because of the great sleep I get, it helps when Im congested too. I know plenty of “skinny” or “heatlhy” people that have CPAP’s. If you don’t feel rested everyday you will be amazed once you get use to the machine! Plus better sleep equals better weight loss!

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com Emily Sandford

      Sarah, you’ve gone through an incredible transformation, and I thank you for sharing your experience. I’m paying lots of moolah for all these tests and equipment and pills, so you better be darn sure I’ll give it my best shot. It’s been over 10 years since I have actually felt rested. Isn’t that awful? I’m looking forward to more energy! 

  • Moe

    Well let me put it to rest, my husband is a trim 170lbs and yes he needs a CPAP. CPAP is not only for fat people.

    Moe aka @biggirlblue

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com Emily Sandford

      Thanks Moe! 

  • Lisachristinecontino

    I’ve been on a CPAP for five years now.  Personally, for me, it’s no big deal.  Pre-CPAP, I was sleeping up to 18 hours a day, was on anti-depressants because they thought I was depressed (honestly, I think it was just because I wasn’t getting adequate sleep for many, many years), I snored as loud as a freight train, and felt like sleeping again as soon as I woke up.  I *knew* I had sleep apnea even before I was diagnosed so I was prepared for needing the CPAP machine.  I looked at it like it was my ilfe-saver.  I embraced the mask even though I looked and sounded like Darth Vader when I put it on–I didn’t care–it was meant to save my life, to give me a better quality of life.  I put the mask on even when I’m taking a nap.  I put it on even if I’m just getting into bed to catch a few minutes of a tv show before bed (because I *know* that I will fall asleep fast).  Pre-CPAP, I was too exhausted to LIVE, let alone exercise.  I was having trouble holding down a full-time job because of the extreme tiredness.  Post-CPAP, I went back to college full-time in 2007, had a 25-hour a week job, and STILL had energy.  I’m happy to say that I’ll be completing my Bachelor’s Degree in two weeks!  There is HOPE, Emmie.  I’ve followed your progress for quite a while now and you’ve been incredibly inspirational and this is just another step to being the amazing you.  I can assure you, if you use the CPAP (even if you don’t like it!) and use it faithfully, you should see awesome results in how you feel.  If you ever have any questions, just email me at lisachristinecontino@gmail.com–I’ll be happy to help if I can! 

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com Emily Sandford

      First, congrats on your graduation! So exciting!
      Second, thank you for sharing your experience. I am always exhausted but being a type A personality I just have to go-go-go all the time, and my body just feels like it’s running on fumes. If I can get a smidgen of energy, I can’t imagine how much more productive I will be. 

  • http://twitter.com/APilgrimSoul Jessie B

    I don’t have any personal experience with a CPAP machine.  I did a sleep study several years ago, and my Dr. told me that I have mild sleep apnea, and that she wanted me to lose weight before she’d prescribe a CPAP.  I should have seen another Dr. about it.  But I didn’t.

    My friend has been using a CPAP for about a year, and he loves it.  He said he’s rested all of the time, and feels a million times better. 

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com Emily Sandford

      Thanks for your reply. Feeling even 10% better at this point would be tremendous.

  • http://heidi-finishing-the-hat.blogspot.com Heidi @ Finishing the Hat

    Hi, Emmie.  Don’t worry about your reaction.  It’s a natural reaction to be nervous about new (to you) medical treatment, and it’s natural to feel not-fat when you’re significantly less-fat than once you were.  (I certainly do too, from time to time.)

    I’ve been on a CPAP for eight years now, and it has definitely improved my life.  Before I got it, I was often afraid I was going to fall asleep at the wheel.  I was totally sluggish, all of the time.  I felt miserable and exhausted.

    The first week or so, it was uncomfortable.  I described it as “breathing upstream.”  I frequently woke up with the CPAP off.  But when it stayed on… it was AMAZING.  I would wake up bright and fresh, with clear thoughts and energy to spare. 

    Gradually, I started to adjust to it.  It started to feel a little more normal to breathe with the air pressure.  It also felt a little more normal to wake up rested, so it stopped feeling quite so terrific in comparison, but it did at least feel more comfortable to wake up with it on.  (Man, I *never* felt more alive than those first few weeks on the CPAP, as weird as it felt to fall asleep.)

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com Emily Sandford

      thank you for sharing your experience, Heidi! I can’t explain my utter exhaustion, lack of focus, insomnia, depression, and anxiety. Apparently the CPAP can help relieve me of at least some of these – I’m skeptical because that sounds about as likely as a cotton-candy unicorn fart. 

      • http://heidi-finishing-the-hat.blogspot.com Heidi @ Finishing the Hat

        I think you’d be surprised just how much it will help.  As long as you’re patient enough to let yourself get used to wearing it, I bet it will really change things for you (on top of the other things that the docs are helping you correct.)

        P.S. – was so glad to see AdoraOm reach out and mention they hope to expand the sweepstakes next year! I was bummed for everybody outside of LA.  (Which, I maintain, you should still visit with Alexa & I as your spirit guides.)

        • http://www.skinnyemmie.com Emily Sandford

          I do think it would be a fantastic reason to get to LA. I know it would be ridiculously fun.

  • Anonymous

    I love my CPAP machine. 

    Before I got it I *NEVER* felt rested … and I was often really depressed and sometimes manic. I would have one “good” day and then sometimes a string of days where I could not do anything at all.  Since getting it I can function as a normal working person.  (Meaning I can work 8-5 not miss a day and not feel like a zombie.  My CPAP was the first step to my getting healthier.   (Also thin people *CAN* have Sleep Apnea – the place where I get my supplies has many workers that have it and are super skinny … so don’t feel bad.)

    It does take about a month to get use to it.  My advice is don’t give up and make sure to put it on every night.  At first I would choke on the air pressure almost … then amazingly I actually slept through the night and felt rested for once!  Now I freak out if I don’t use it.  I would highly suggest getting one that is an “auto” that has progressive air pressure rather than one setting.

    So far I have lost 77 lbs since last summer.  My CPAP pressure was ~19 … now it is down to 13!  So it’s great to see that the weight-loss did help, though I will probably need it for the rest of my life.

    Honestly, I think after a while you will me glad you got it.  You may also be happy with the effect it has on your mood etc.  I love mine.

    Good luck with everything!

    XOXO,
    Nina

    • http://www.skinnyemmie.com Emily Sandford

      Thank you so much for sharing your experience! If it will make me feel even the slightest bit more rested, it will be worth it. like you were, I’m often depressed, then anxious, then manic. I thrive on this level of constant buzz, doing everything all the time, but my body feels like it’s given up on me. And is it just me or is it cruel to tell someone they don’t breathe at night and then make you wait a week to get the machine? Seriously?! :)

      • Anonymous

        Completely understand … I spent 15 years working in the music industry.  (Which is an area that is built on exceeding impossible expectations.)  The  really crazy 24/7 schedule actually helped me mask how terrible and crazy I felt all the time … Since it was a job that I could not sleep for a few days and work insane hours and then sort of tuck in crash times.  I am much happier now overall – though I do miss the buzz of it all sometimes still. (Plus creative fields are a place where a manic episode can lead to uber-productivity and a pat on the back … which I lived for!)

        Balance has been my ultimate challenge … and really it was pushing myself so hard for so long that got me up to 422!  (well on record … who knows what the final # was?)  Yeah and the wait is not cool … the place I go to was awesome they let me keep a sample machine for 4 months before I could afford one … up until my current job I did not have health insurance for over a decade!

  • Kitty Bitty

    hey Emmie,

    I’m a respiratory therapist, and like many have commented, not everyone with sleep apnea is fat.

    If you have any questions, drop me a line.  :)

  • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1098263214 Lauren Brennan

    my father in law is about 137 lbs and uses a CPAP machine. He is also diabetic and wasn’t born with it nor was he ever overweight. He could never get a full nights sleep and was always tossing and turning and my mother in law forced him to go to a sleep study and found he had sleep apnea. It’s not just for fat people. I think once you use the machine and realize how badly you were sleeping before, you will be so glad you started using it. It will make you more rested and have more energy for working out. :)

  • http://twitter.com/sweating_it_off Alan

    I sometimes forget that I am fat. Its weird because I will randomly look in the mirror and not believe its me. I try to keep reminding myself because it fuels my fire. 

    I am claustrophobic so I had a horrible experience with Cpap, but I have heard great stories about people who use them. I hope it helps you!

    Always here for you Em! We need facetime soon! 

  • phatmom

    I was falling asleep while driving and while having conversations with my son! The sleep study showed I stopped breathing 48 times an hour. Yes, an hour! So, yeah, CPAP was a life saver for me. I was a totally different person after I started using it. I didn’t have any problem getting used to it because I was starved for sleep.

    Yes, I’m obese. But half the people I know with sleep apnea are not. Also, generations of my family have had problems with their noses, adenoids, and snoring. So I think there may be a cause/effect confusion here. If you’re not getting sleep and are exhausted all the time, you’re not going to exercise and you’re going to become obese. Sleep apnea certainly at least contributes to people becoming more overweight, even if it’s not starting it.

    When I had post-partum depression, I was told by the doctor that sleep deprivation produces the same impairments as being drunk. So it very well could be that many of your other symptoms are related to being sleep deprived. CPAP is NOT just for fat people. It’s another step toward complete health and wellness at any size. I really hope it helps you as much as it did me, Emmie.

  • jnwalsh1

    lkdfdsljf

  • Katie Pauls

    My husband uses a CPAP machine. He’s slightly overweight but not obese. His sleep apnea (and snoring) didn’t really kick in until he gained about 20 pounds once we got married, so I think it’s weight related but I’m pretty sure a lot of people would be shocked to find out that he uses one.

    I know he was upset when he found out he needed one, but I’m glad he has it because it’s definitely improved things for us. Not only do we both sleep better, we get along more because we’re both better rested. While it can be a shot to your pride, I think a good night’s sleep is worth it!

  • Angie

    My husband was diagnosed with sleep apnea several years ago.  He’s a little overweight now, but he wasn’t then – not at all.  The CPAP machine totally changed his life.  After the first few nights he said he felt so much more alert, energetic – he couldn’t believe the difference it made.  And the noise of the machine doesn’t bother me at all – it’s kind of like one of those “white noise” machines. I hope your experience is as wonderful as his was!

  • Sarah Cady

    Hang in there! I had a good friend diagnosed with sleep apnea and type II diabetes at the same time. He was a notoriously loud snorer for YEARS. He was a little overweight (~190-200 lbs at the time, now he weighs about 150-160). He wasn’t even what I’d call “fat” when he was diagnosed with both – just a little middle age pudge like most people. Anyways, he lost the weight and started sleeping much, much better with the CPAP. He also used to have really bad nosebleeds but the stream of moist air helped with that as well. He’s doing much better now.

  • http://www.facebook.com/saradavidson Sara Davidson

    Both of my not-fat parents use cpap. It’s not just for fat people.

  • Irishjc820

    My mom has used a CPAP machine for about a year, and it has made a significant improvement in how she sleeps and in her energy level. She had done a sleep study where they discovered that she was only actually getting maybe two hours of restful sleep per night because she woke up gasping for breath so often. She would sleep until 10 or 11am when she didn’t have to work because she just never got enough good sleep.

    Now, she’s usually up by 8 or 9 at the latest. She feels better, and has more energy. It took some getting used to, and she did have to experiment with the masks to find one that fit her face shape well and didn’t let air escape. But it was worth the trial and error.

    She is a little bit overweight, but probably just 40 lbs or so. So sleep apnea can happen in all sorts of people, and don’t feel like it’s a stigma you have because of your weight. I think this will be great for you. Having more energy, and allowing your body to do the work it needs overnight will be great for jump starting that scale again. Good luck!

  • barbara

    I know skinny people that use them too.  Good for you for taking the bull by the horns and improving your rest!  Good sleep will make further loss easier and maybe then you can ditch the machine!

  • http://twitter.com/lottalatte Denise Elliott

    I know what you mean about the rude slap to the face of a medical recommendation when you’re working really hard and doing what you need to in terms of losing weight. Last year I spent several months before my annual exam eating well and getting a ton of exercise, so I was really excited to see the results of my blood work. Except that my blood sugar was elevated – I’m diabetic – and my doctor told me I’d need to go on oral diabetes meds. That shocked and insulted me so much that I completely stopped taking care of myself, regained 45 pounds, and ended up with far worse blood sugar a year later. What I’ve learned since is that it just doesn’t matter what you have to do to live a healthy life – take meds, inject yourself every morning (which I do now), or sleep with a mask – it’s all totally worth it because YOU are worth it.

    Good luck!

  • Better Me, Then You

    My husband went through a sleep study this year and got a CPAP. He will not use it. It’s loud and when he moves around it comes off. I’m (unfortunately) a TV-in-bed person so I wasn’t loving it, although I didn’t complain. His was the type that piped up your nostrils and since he sometimes breathes out of his mouth, the air would shoot out loudly. This would keep me up sometimes.

    Apparently you can get a full nose-mouth cover, a mouthpiece (which has a better success rate but is more expensive than a CPAP so not as prescribed) or even a surgery where you get some excess tissue removed in the back of your throat. We have a friend (who is a relatively normal weight) who had this surgery. It helped him greatly but he cannot oink like a pig now (oh, the shame).

    My husband’s doctor told him 95% of people who get to their ideal body weight are cured. Also, the CPAP can help you have more energy so you can lose the weight.

    My father-in-law has used a CPAP for decades. He was falling asleep while teaching classes. He loves it and can’t sleep without it.

    Sounds like if you can get used to it, it will be a good thing. If you hate it, it’s a great motivation for further weight loss. Good luck!

  • http://gilliansactivelife.ca Gillian

    I have a male friend at work who, even though he’s lost 45 pounds and is easily maintaining his goal weight, always sleeps with a CPAP machine. His breathing is simply too constricted at night for any other alternative. I actually know of an equal number of skinny and fat people who have sleep apnea, so it’s certainly not a “fat” problem, or not only a fat problem.

  • Katdoesdiets

    My hubby’s doctor told him if he lost weight he wouldn’t need his CPAP. He did so. Is under 200 pounds now, and still needs his CPAP. 

  • LHA

    First, my husband is disgustingly slim, and he has severe sleep apnea.  He even had the very difficult and painful surgery to correct the problem and it was not successful, so he still has to use a CPAP.  He had no problem using it, adjusted to it easily, but he still falls asleep during the day so I am not sure it is that helpful.  I am most disgustingly far from slim, and was also diagnosed with sleep apnea.  I have never adjusted to the CPAP and found it unbearable to use.  I don’t have any daytime sleepiness or other symptoms, though.  So, go figure…..

    That said, I wish you good luck with your CPAP.  I hope you will be like many of the other commenters here and just love the CPAP and find it life changing.  I’ll be rooting for you!  

  • Jill Seyfred

    My dad used a CPAP- it helped him a lot. He was always tired, but couldn’t figure out why. It was noisy, but he got used to it. So will you and you will feel better.

  • Rebecca Sprauer

    I’m a nurse and I worked for an ENT for four years and I can say without a doubt that while weight does contribute to sleep apnea, I saw an equal number of thin people needing a CPAP. The new ones come with a nose mask instead of the whole face mask (if yours doesn’t you should see if you can get one) and they are MUCH easier to sleep with and and much quieter. That being said, I’m sure that once you’re used to it and getting a good nights sleep you’ll have more energy and feel much better.

Previous post:

Next post: