I had my review at work today, and my boss mentioned that I am really doing a great job, but need to have more confidence. He was right on, and I hate admitting it. I love my job and the work that I do, but something holds me back from expressing things or being as upfront as I’d like to be. All the ideas are spinning in my mind a million miles an hour, but something inside me freezes and I hold it all in. I am empowered to say things (everything else in the review went well). It wouldn’t be out of place for me to throw out more ideas or offer opinions. Yet I still am held back by something.
This goes beyond work, and has been a recurring theme that I’ve been trying to figure out, especially as the weight comes down. I haven’t always had this issue, and it doesn’t happen in all situations. I’ve talked before about how many times I think my mind holds me back, but I can’t figure out why. I once thought that when the weight came down, my confidence would instantly go up, however I haven’t found this to be the case. Maybe as I lose more it will start to come. Or maybe it has more to do with than my weight – fear of rejection, being an outcast, etc. In any case, I’m going to try to work on my confidence to help propel me forward.
One seemingly silly thing to do is to continue dressing well. My outfit today made me feel more confident: