My own insanity

May 10, 2010

Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. – Albert Einstein

Oh that Mr. Einstein- what a wise man.

When I look back at my weight loss journey throughout my life, I see that clearly, I must be insane. When I was auditioning for The Biggest Loser, I had calculated up how much weight I’ve lost and gained in my life. Have you ever done that? If you’re a lifelong weight struggler, the number can be astounding. Especially when you’re like me and can get rolling in 50 pound increments, then hit a wall and gain it back (plus more).

My big time gains and losses:

  • Fat camp year 1
  • Post-fat camp gain
  • Fat camp year 2
  • Post fat-camp gain
  • Fat camp year 3
  • College
  • Post college job depression
  • Low carb attempt 1/wedding/grad school
  • Newlywed gain
  • Low carb attempt 2 (now)

Notice these don’t include times like when I was on fen-phen (age 14), weight watchers, slim fast, cabbage soup, etc. These are just my big weight jumps. Know what the total of losses + gains is? A staggering 695 pounds. WTF?

So just so you guys know, according to Mr. Einstein, I am indeed INSANE.

What makes this time different? Hell, what makes any time different? Not sure I know the answer to that (or better yet, now to articulate the feeling I have on why this time is different). I think that with each attempt you learn. Each failure- you learn. As long as you can drag your ass from off the ground and try again, then by all means, let people think you’re insane.

Just don’t ever let me get Einstein hair, k? Thx. :)

What makes you keep getting up and trying again?

Tagged as: einstein, insanity, introspective, low carb, nutrition, weight loss

  • http://www.tudor-rosy.blogspot.com Tudor Rose

    Just thinking about the past 10 months and the time I was on WW back in college my number was 175, and I know there are several other weight lost attempts in there. The crazy thing is, I have no desire to be super skinny. 175 is the weight I want to be. How bizarre is that?

    And, can I just say, while I know you said you used BL as a crutch I am so proud of you for auditioning. I always want to, but never have the courage. You are fabulous, even if you didn't get on. So hopefully you will next year and I will definitely be watching :-)

  • http://shrinkingmama.com/ Melissa

    Looks like I'm freaking insane too! Damn the hubby is not going to be all too happy to hear about his insanity stricken wife…but then he might just be insane too! My name is Melissa and I'm totally uncontrolably insane….but I'm trying to overcome this diagnosis!

  • Pingback: Why lose weight now? — Skinny Emmie

  • http://www.thehealthylivingproject.com Denise

    A few months ago (really, it was just yesterday for me which is why I remember it), you talked about WHY we wanted to be thinner. I have that mental list: I want to be active, I want to be the pretty one, I want to have crazy shower sex without breaking the tub. Right now there is a bag of Gardetto’s in my drawer (from before I started my Atkins-y diet a week ago) and I forgot my snack. It would be easy to dig into that bag in a few hours when I’m hungry. Instead, I am going to drink my water and probably move the bag to my car to take home for my husband.
    Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.

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