You know what’s really funny? I just about wrote a post titled the same thing as a post I wrote a while back. And the content would have been kind of similar. I guess that means it’s something I think about often, which is certainly true.
I submitted my index card over at Jack Sh*t, Gettin’ Fit. He’s collecting them from anyone who wants to send them. You just say why you are trying to lose weight or why you’re doing your fitness routine. This was my submission:
Really, doesn’t it seem so cliche? I mean, everyone wants to live, but what does it mean to live without limits?
Sometimes, it’s like my life has been on indefinite hold. Don’t get me wrong- I don’t have problems with my life. I have a great husband, great job, great friends, great house, etc. I can check a lot of boxes off in the “on paper” part of life. It’s the living part that is on hold.
I want to experience things that I haven’t before (or haven’t in a long time). They can be little things such as fitting in a little sports car, or big things like going bungee jumping. Or parasailing. Or rock climbing.
I always have considered myself a cautious person. I don’t put myself in dangerous situations, physically. I’m risk averse in business. But what if that’s just because of my size? Because of my fear that trying things in THIS body is just too risky. I fear this may be the actual problem.
I feel like I’m putting my life on hold. *cue muzak* Today I was talking to a co-worker about her vacation, then I got really excited about wanting to plan a beach vacation of my own when the nag voice in my head lifted the needle off of the record player and went “oh-no-you-don’t!” Excuse city, here they come:
- I’m too big to enjoy a walk on the beach
- I don’t want to be seen in a bathing suit
- I won’t have fun because I can’t drink fruity drinks at the beach (too many carbs)
- I don’t want to embarrass my husband (which would NEVER happen)
Honestly? These are totally asinine reasons for not planning a vacation, yet I can’t get them out of my head. I’m sure as the weight continues to come off, some of these doubts will go away, but I’m not the most patient person 
Anyone else ever feel this way? What do you do to say “eff it” and just do things? Is this protection mechanism something that will ease with time and weight loss?
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