Wise Words of Johnny Depp

March 30, 2010

via -Line on Flickr

I don’t know who tweeted this today, so apologies to that person for not getting any credit. It was early in the morning, and I copied and pasted it in and email and sent it to myself:

“We’re all damaged in our own way. Nobody’s perfect. I think we are all somewhat screwy, every single 1 of us. – Johnny Depp”

And while I’m on the subject of Johnny Depp, I met him at Fayette Mall several years ago (his mom lives nearby) and his damage is thinking that he has to dress like a slob. But I digress, as he gave me an autograph on the back of a Dakota Watch Company watch club card. Totally random, but whatever.

Back to my post…

I know I have my own screwy-ness. Or, if you’d prefer to call them, idiosyncrasies. But the one I’m thinking about right now is one that I have written about before in a previous post. I was watching Ruby (as you guys know, one of my fave shows after The Biggest Loser and now, Parenthood). She was challenged by her therapist to change 5 things in her life/environment/habit that would help her break out of her weight loss funk. She ended up taking the stairs, trying different workouts, cut out diet soda, got rid of her huge reclining chair she used at her highest weight of 700+ pounds, etc. She also had the same problem I do. When she looked in the mirror, she didn’t see her size. She would focus on the positives of her weight loss while ignoring the fact that she was still very large.

What is it about people like Ruby and I to be able to adjust in our minds that when we look in the mirror we’re not huge beasts? Really. Is it some secret fat coping mechanism that is built in to us so we can just survive? Think about people with traumatic events whose memories are repressed forever because it’s just too hard to deal with. I feel like my brain has been playing tricks on me when I look in the mirror. It’s like a carnival mirror in your head- you are unable to noticed the width of your hips, the rolls under your shirt, the chins under your chin… and it’s nuts!

In the episode of Ruby, she ended up getting several smaller, round mirrors and placing them around her house where she could ONLY see the bad parts. For example, if she was sitting down to eat dinner in her normal spot at the table, the wall next to her had a mirror that only showed her stomach. What a terrifying thing to do! But it makes total sense.

I’m not quite ready to start slapping mirrors all over my house in weird positions to try to come to grips with my false body image. And don’t get me wrong- I KNOW I’m big. Really. I know. But when I look at the mirror and then see pictures of myself later- it’s like I’m 2 completely different people.

Do any of you share this same problem? If so, what do you do about it? Anything?

Tagged as: body image

  • Sarah 7500

    Totally. In my head, I’m a size 10. When I see pictures of myself, I wonder who is that fat chick with all the extra chins? I think I have body dysmorphic disorder, but the opposite way anorexics do.

  • Sarah 7500

    Totally. In my head, I’m a size 10. When I see pictures of myself, I wonder who is that fat chick with all the extra chins? I think I have body dysmorphic disorder, but the opposite way anorexics do.

  • http://heatherwherever.blogspot.com/ heather

    I’ve gone up four dress sizes in the past four years. I’m always surprised to look in the mirror and not see me of five years ago, so I can never accept the me of now, if that makes sense.

    I’m pretty sure Johnny Depp has no flaws. Well, apart from the whole “not being Heather’s secret lover” thing.

  • http://heatherwherever.blogspot.com heather

    I’ve gone up four dress sizes in the past four years. I’m always surprised to look in the mirror and not see me of five years ago, so I can never accept the me of now, if that makes sense.

    I’m pretty sure Johnny Depp has no flaws. Well, apart from the whole “not being Heather’s secret lover” thing.

  • http://alithinks.com/ Alison

    Yep. I look in the mirror at home, and I look pretty good. Photos of me tell a much different story. I hate it. HATE.
    .-= Alison´s last blog ..O RLY? =-.

  • http://alithinks.com Alison

    Yep. I look in the mirror at home, and I look pretty good. Photos of me tell a much different story. I hate it. HATE.
    .-= Alison´s last blog ..O RLY? =-.

  • http://paperbatty.blogspot.com/ paperbatty

    I have the same experience. I feel thankful that I don’t see myself in my head the way I see myself in photographs. I might not be able to go out of the house. I also see myself as way much younger than I am. I don’t see any harm in it.
    .-= paperbatty´s last blog ..Where I work =-.

  • http://paperbatty.blogspot.com paperbatty

    I have the same experience. I feel thankful that I don’t see myself in my head the way I see myself in photographs. I might not be able to go out of the house. I also see myself as way much younger than I am. I don’t see any harm in it.
    .-= paperbatty´s last blog ..Where I work =-.

  • http://twopoundsawk.com/ Meg

    I am always surprised at how I look in pictures. I will feel pretty good about my hair, outfit, etc., and then I see pictures and I think, “Did I really look that bad?” Luckily, there’s a delete button for the ones I don’t like!

    I’m very jealous you’ve met Johnny Depp, by the way. :)

  • http://twopoundsawk.com Meg

    I am always surprised at how I look in pictures. I will feel pretty good about my hair, outfit, etc., and then I see pictures and I think, “Did I really look that bad?” Luckily, there’s a delete button for the ones I don’t like!

    I’m very jealous you’ve met Johnny Depp, by the way. :)

  • katie

    yes! agreed. i’ve had the same experiences you and the people commenting above had mentioned… feeling like i looked pretty dang good when i looked in the mirror, then seeing pictures from that day and being horrified. i think part of it is that i know my “angles” — not to get all tyra up in here, but when i look in the mirror, i automatically sort of position my body so it looks the best. is that crazy? i don’t know.

    as someone said above, it does sort of feel like a form of body dysmorphia. i know in my head that i’m overweight, and when i see pictures (especially candids/unposed) it’s pretty shocking, but when i just look at myself objectively in the mirror…most of the time i’m pretty happy with how i look.

    i can see how positioning mirrors in unflattering positions might be helpful as a reminder that one needs to lose weight…but on the other hand…i don’t know. it gives a boost of confidence to look in the mirror and feel good about how you look, so if you take that away, where would you get confidence in your appearance? does that make any sense? i don’t want to walk around feeling terrible about myself and thinking about how huge i must look, just so i can be reminded not to eat so much. in my experience, just because i’m feeling down on myself doesn’t necessarily mean i’ll take steps to lose weight — in fact, when i’m in the self-hatred zone, i’m more likely to binge or be self-destructive.

    wow, this is long! and i don’t even know what point i’m trying to make, really, haha :)

  • katie

    yes! agreed. i’ve had the same experiences you and the people commenting above had mentioned… feeling like i looked pretty dang good when i looked in the mirror, then seeing pictures from that day and being horrified. i think part of it is that i know my “angles” — not to get all tyra up in here, but when i look in the mirror, i automatically sort of position my body so it looks the best. is that crazy? i don’t know.

    as someone said above, it does sort of feel like a form of body dysmorphia. i know in my head that i’m overweight, and when i see pictures (especially candids/unposed) it’s pretty shocking, but when i just look at myself objectively in the mirror…most of the time i’m pretty happy with how i look.

    i can see how positioning mirrors in unflattering positions might be helpful as a reminder that one needs to lose weight…but on the other hand…i don’t know. it gives a boost of confidence to look in the mirror and feel good about how you look, so if you take that away, where would you get confidence in your appearance? does that make any sense? i don’t want to walk around feeling terrible about myself and thinking about how huge i must look, just so i can be reminded not to eat so much. in my experience, just because i’m feeling down on myself doesn’t necessarily mean i’ll take steps to lose weight — in fact, when i’m in the self-hatred zone, i’m more likely to binge or be self-destructive.

    wow, this is long! and i don’t even know what point i’m trying to make, really, haha :)

  • chai_girl

    Don’t hate me. I’ve lost over 100lbs because of my lap band. I have the opposite problem. When I look in the mirror, I see myself at 340lbs. I got down to 200lbs but was never able to quite cross that line and I still saw me at 340lbs in the mirror. Then I had thyroid issues and I’m finally getting back into the swing of things as the doctor adjusts my meds.

    I have caught glimpses of myself in mirrors while at an event or something and wondered who that person across the room was (one time for a seriously long time) before I realized it was a mirror and it was actually me. I saw a picture one time and asked my boyfriend “Who is that bitch standing there with her arm around you?!?!?” He laughed and told me it was me, granted I was wearing a really nice wig. :-)

    I think that working on seeing yourself for who you are is a good thing…no matter which direction you are distorting it. However, I always see myself as about 10 years younger than I am…I’m not going to stop that!

  • chai_girl

    Don’t hate me. I’ve lost over 100lbs because of my lap band. I have the opposite problem. When I look in the mirror, I see myself at 340lbs. I got down to 200lbs but was never able to quite cross that line and I still saw me at 340lbs in the mirror. Then I had thyroid issues and I’m finally getting back into the swing of things as the doctor adjusts my meds.

    I have caught glimpses of myself in mirrors while at an event or something and wondered who that person across the room was (one time for a seriously long time) before I realized it was a mirror and it was actually me. I saw a picture one time and asked my boyfriend “Who is that bitch standing there with her arm around you?!?!?” He laughed and told me it was me, granted I was wearing a really nice wig. :-)

    I think that working on seeing yourself for who you are is a good thing…no matter which direction you are distorting it. However, I always see myself as about 10 years younger than I am…I’m not going to stop that!

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