Not the biggest?

October 28, 2009

I’ve been super busy this week at work, so not too much time for blogging. I did have an epiphany about clothes today that I wanted to share before my head returns to Fat Emmie mode.

hangers

I’ve talked before about how I have a closet full of clothes ranging from a size 16-34. Bits and pieces of each size, but not a cohesive wardrobe per-say of any of them. I could never keep my body at one size long enough to form a full array of clothes as I’d like to. My biggest chunk of clothes are around the size 22 mark, where I had previously lost 150 pounds and maintained for about 9 months. I have lots of jeans and sweaters and dresses in that size because I was in grad school at the time.

Anyway, I see the scale moving downward, and people cheer “hooray” but I don’t really feel anything. It’s not like you are always aware that you are slowly shrinking. And lets be honest, at my weight, it takes a good hunk-of-weight-loss before you can start to see changes.

When you’re up in the 28+ category of sizes, things are even more limited than just “regular” plus sizes. Can you imagine the lack of choices? Blech. This time, and always, when I lose weight, I always keep ordering things online (more variety) in the biggest size offered. Usually I get them in the mail, and the biggest size is too small, so back to UPS they go.

Until today.

I had an epiphany that my body IS changing. That I’m NOT having to always buy the largest size available!

As I posted last week, I ordered some things from Kiyonna, SWAK Designs and Lane Bryant. Got the Kiyonna and Lane Bryant items in today and tried them on tonight. Have you ever had that feeling, when you start to put your arms into something and you can tell that it will be too tight before it even goes over your head? Or put on pants that before they even reach your hips, you know they won’t work? That has been my reality EVERY.TIME I tried something on from those places, or anywhere else for that matter.  But today? No tightness. I look in the mirror and to my dismay, not only are they not tight, they are too big! Hot damn! I literally had to do a little dance to celebrate. Maybe this weight loss thing is working out after all!

Before, I would just see a pile of clothes and automatically search for the biggest size. Online, I’d only search by size so I wouldn’t even have to see those things that weren’t offered in extended plus sizes. I’ve come to the realization today that I need to get out of that mentality! Stop auto-focusing on the biggest!

  • http://lifeshouldbestereo.wordpress.com/ Daniele

    I hear ya girl and I relate 100%. Always the biggest…. not for much longer :) Love the stuff you ordered. In Europe choices are even more limited if one is a size 28 or above. I am not at ALL wearing the kind of stuff I would love to wear, if I was somewhat smaller in size. Just wearing what fits most of the time. Depressing.
    .-= Daniele´s last blog ..‘This is it’ =-.

  • http://lifeshouldbestereo.wordpress.com/ Daniele

    I hear ya girl and I relate 100%. Always the biggest…. not for much longer :) Love the stuff you ordered. In Europe choices are even more limited if one is a size 28 or above. I am not at ALL wearing the kind of stuff I would love to wear, if I was somewhat smaller in size. Just wearing what fits most of the time. Depressing.
    .-= Daniele´s last blog ..‘This is it’ =-.

  • http://www.tudor-rosy.blogspot.com/ Tudor Rose

    OMG yes! A co-worker gave me some of her clothes that are too big for her now, and they were a size I haven’t worn in years and I told myself there was no way they would fit. But I put them on and as I started to slide them up my hips I had this moment of “Hey, now wait a minute … ” I totally danced all around my apartment, I was so excited.
    .-= Tudor Rose´s last blog ..sticks and stones =-.

  • http://www.tudor-rosy.blogspot.com Tudor Rose

    OMG yes! A co-worker gave me some of her clothes that are too big for her now, and they were a size I haven’t worn in years and I told myself there was no way they would fit. But I put them on and as I started to slide them up my hips I had this moment of “Hey, now wait a minute … ” I totally danced all around my apartment, I was so excited.
    .-= Tudor Rose´s last blog ..sticks and stones =-.

  • http://one-forty-five.blogspot.com/ Eszter

    Wow, congratulations! It’s amazing! All the hard work is starting to get paid off!!! (:
    I remembered I saw somewhere this thing:
    http://8.media.tumblr.com/4b07dEI29no96kebH87IesEWo1_400.png

    (:

  • http://one-forty-five.blogspot.com/ Eszter

    Wow, congratulations! It’s amazing! All the hard work is starting to get paid off!!! (:
    I remembered I saw somewhere this thing:
    http://8.media.tumblr.com/4b07dEI29no96kebH87IesEWo1_400.png

    (:

  • Mary

    I totally get where you are coming from. that happened to me a couple weeks ago. I’m going through my own weight loss journey. But not only am I not the biggest size but i can wear my sisters clothing!!! that is so awesome! Im so happy for you and keep up the excellent work. we all love to hear form you!

  • Mary

    I totally get where you are coming from. that happened to me a couple weeks ago. I’m going through my own weight loss journey. But not only am I not the biggest size but i can wear my sisters clothing!!! that is so awesome! Im so happy for you and keep up the excellent work. we all love to hear form you!

  • Mel

    Yay!!! Congratulations!!!! I totally know what you mean, as I’m losing weight right now also, you’re doing good for weeks and the scale says one thing, but you don’t feel like you’re getting smaller… I’m glad you had this experience, I’m hoping mine comes soon!

  • Mel

    Yay!!! Congratulations!!!! I totally know what you mean, as I’m losing weight right now also, you’re doing good for weeks and the scale says one thing, but you don’t feel like you’re getting smaller… I’m glad you had this experience, I’m hoping mine comes soon!

  • Ebrab04

    Hi I hope you dont mind me commenting so log after the post but I can so relate to this! I have just up until now lost 4 stone (17lbs left till goal) and I still like autopilot go for the biggest size in everything and then its so wierd to have to go and think then what size I actually am! Ah this really made me laugh because there are so many things like this that come with big weight loss that are actually a major pain in the butt but secretly inside you do a little dance :)

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