And mine don’t fit a lot of places.
Reason #482 for needing to lose weight: My ass doesn’t fit comfortably in a lot of chairs and my perma-bruises on my hips are getting a little old now.
Imagine you’re a chair. All of a sudden, a wide load starts backing its way up to your face. The chair gulps and the arm rests grip themselves in horror as something wider than them is about to force its way into their space. How horrifying!
What’s even more horrifying is that the person who has to sit in these chairs (um, that’s me), wedges themselves in and then prays the chair doesn’t collapse under the strain of the wide load. Then comes having to smile and grin during a conversation/event with friends who hopefully don’t notice that the sides of the chair are cutting into thighs like a hot knife cutting through butter (of course I had to use a food analogy).
I ate dinner the other night at a great restaurant with my girlfriends on a patio next to the water with a band playing, and today I woke up with sore ham hocks and some great looking bruises on them. Add that restaurant to the list of places where my ass doesn’t fit.
For those forever-skinnies, just imagine if EVERYWHERE you went you had to worry if your butt would fit in a chair. Waiting rooms, movie theaters, ball games, any restaurant, amusement parks (that’s another post in itself), friends houses, etc. It’s a pain (literally) in the ass (or thighs or hips or whatever). The worst is airplanes, but I have many, many airplane/travel stories to share, so I’ll leave them for another day.
So if you see me squirming in a chair, pay no mind. I’m use to the suffering, and look forward to the day when it is a distant memory!